Posts  1 - 3  of  3
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
---------------- ---------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

. We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!
replied to:  mvastano6164
Replied to:  Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?...
Good Idea:

I read it recently at WN.

'The Confession ' by Whiskurz

Well, here's another Granny story
That woman did it all
She was even a sumo wrestler
And she was only four foot tall

Now, my granny's seen a lot of things
She even lived thru the great depression
No, I'm not talking about the crash of '29
I'm talking about her last confession

I reckon she told that priest some things
That could take the hair off my mother-in-law's back
She said it didn't help her feel any better
And that the priest kinda smelled like a yak

I guess, you really have to know my granny
That woman has such a way with words
She picked up a thing or two in high school
Cause she only went out with the nerds

Well, now back to the confession
You see, my granny really spilled her guts
By the time she got done telling it all
The priest just laughed and called her nuts

Now, my granny didn't like this much
That's when she set in to cussin'
She called that priest every name in the book
And that's when they really started fussin'

That priest got my granny in a headlock
But my granny was way too stout
Remember, my granny was a sumo wrestler?
So she knocked that "yak" priest out

Well, that's the end of my story
And don't worry about my granny at all
She started a sumo wrestling league
For priests only four foot tall


Well... the poem was much taller than 4 ft..! :)
replied to:  Silent
Replied to:  Good Idea: I read it recently at WN. 'The...

"My Hobo Friend Named Jonney" by jonashton at WN

My Hobo Friend Named Jonny
I got a hobo friend named Jonny
Not sure if that's his name
But I always call him Jonny
And he answers all the same

It's hard to recognize him
With the dirt caked round his eyes
But every time I spies him
He opens up his mouth and cries...

Humbugger bumfugger cradlin my cup
(beat) What?
And I'll let him eat my sandwich, and he'll eat it all right up.

On account of his right busted knee
He ain't allowed in wars
And cuz of his old shoplifting
He ain't allowed in stores

But whenever I walk past his spot
He's wearin something new
So whenever I don't know it's Jon
This is what he'll do.

He'll sing humbugger bumfugger cradlin my cup,
(beat) What?
And I'll let him drink my Red Bull and he'll drink it all right up.

The world, it ain't at all too kind
To generous folks like me
And one day when I lose my mind
I'll be out on the street

When I'm homeless like Jonny
I know how I'll get by
I'll sing a song like Jonny's
And I'll sing it till I die.

I'll sing humbugger bumfugger cradlin my cup
(beat) What?
And I'll get lots of sandwiches and eat em all right up.

I'll sing humbugger bumfugger cradlin my cup
(beat) Yup.
And I'll live life to the fullest, and I'll live it all right up.


What a humor/wisdom!